What Valentine Means As You Grow Older

valentine-dayMe and my husband have been together for 12 years now, and the years we spent in courtship have etched cherished memories that will stay with us for the entire lifetime. Unfortunately, as you transform from lovers to parents, its hard to find time to create those special moments and occasions that explicitly say I Love You! I’m sure most couples would find themselves in our shoes, but I would just like to tell them that Romance never dies, in fact, it is something that grows deeper with each passing day. It may cease to be the highlight of your relationship, but it will always be the cornerstone of the everlasting bond between two people.

As parents of a 3-year old, we often find each other taking care of the little one, while the other strives to get some things done around the house, and there’s hardly time to talk to each other, before we flop onto our beds, trying to catch the highly elusive sleep before our tiny-tot demands attention. Gone are the days when we used to spend hours at a gift-shop, trying to pick out the perfect card and gift for each other, and spend another few hours penning down romantic thoughts and rhymes in the card! That era seems like a distant memory, and yet we always try to steal those magical moments from the hands of time, just to show our love, by thoughts, words or actions! Most of our conversations are not private, you’d be amazed at how hsarp a sense of hearing kids these days have, so we hae to resort to What’s App on our smart-phones to convey our feelings these days!!:) But nevertheless, this has its own charm, and there’s no reason to skimp on affection as you grow old.

Part of article penned by Jennifer Haupt; reprinted with permission from Woman’s Day magazine.

Don’t let love become a back-burner; Here are some simple ways to show your mate that you care!


Make an “everyday date”
“No matter how busy I am at work, dinner with my family takes priority,” says Kim Morgan, 45, who lives with her 6-year-old daughter, Nina, and her boyfriend of four years, Tony, in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. “Tony and I have turned down both work and social functions to get home for our family dinner. It’s one daily way that we show our commitment to each other and to Nina.”

Document your feelings
“I’m on the road a lot for my job, so I started keeping a journal of things I wanted to share with my husband,” says Phyllis Meiring of Piqua, Ohio. “Now he makes entries in our ‘love journal’ too. We pass it back and forth just like high school kids passing notes!”

Keep the spark alive
“My husband, Arlan, does a lot of traveling for work and he usually leaves early in the morning before I’m awake,” says Roxann Sheets of Manchester, New Hampshire. “On those days, he writes little love notes and hides them around the house. I’ve found notes inside drawers, in the refrigerator, even inside takeout boxes—they always make me smile.”

Show that you care
“My husband and I often say ‘I love you’ in nonverbal ways,” says Liza Burby of Huntington Station, New York. “We dog-ear articles for each other in magazines. We download songs for each other’s iPod. We buy little gifts the other might like. I get a lot of chocolate, but it’s nicer to know that I’m in his thoughts.”

Take on one of his chores

Nothing says “I love you” like doing a chore you know your spouse isn’t keen on. “After 24 years of marriage, my husband and I know which household duties the other one dislikes,” says Nancy Shenker of Chappaqua, New York. “I would rather eat worms than fold laundry, so Ken takes care of that. And he’s not a shopper or appointment scheduler, so I take on those jobs. We know it’s important to help each other out—and I love that he pitches in without my having to ask.”

Cherish the memories
“My husband and I just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary by renting a limo and going on a tour down memory lane,” says D.J. Mitsch of Cary, North Carolina. “We drank champagne, drove past the spot where we met, then stopped at our first house and hugged the tree we planted there years ago. We had a blast reminiscing about the great adventure of our marriage.”

Pick a token of your affection
“My husband, Stephen, and I have been exchanging glass hearts on Valentine’s Day for the past 12 years,” says Judge Maria Lopez, host of the syndicated reality TV show that bears her name. “We keep all 24 atop the fireplace in our bedroom. For us, glass hearts represent the fragility of our own hearts, and remind us to be gentle with one another.”

Forget about grand gestures
“Small favors have a much greater impact than any one big gift,” says Lisa Mcleod of Atlanta, who took over her husband’s job of cooking dinner on weeknights when he launched his own business last year. “My husband is a gourmet cook and loves good food, so I make the effort to put together a nice meal every evening. And he does little things for me, too. Last Valentine’s Day he gave me the perfect gift: a coffee punch card for a local convenience store. It’s not glamorous, but every morning when I get coffee on my way to work, I think of him.”

Share the love
“Vikram takes the time to walk, feed and play with my two pugs, even though they’re definitely my dogs,” says Diana Rohini LaVigne of San Francisco. “I appreciate that my husband’s made such an effort to love my dogs—it’s a way of demonstrating how much he loves me.”

Share a private joke
“Years ago, my husband was served a Caribbean drink with a tiny green plastic fish floating on top,” says MSNBC-TV reporter Ashleigh Banfield. “We both thought it was a cute touch and saved it. Ever since, we’ve taken turns hiding the fish in unexpected places—folded up in Howard’s news-paper, tucked into my day planner, buried in a suit pocket —it’s been our little joke.”

Hope these simple tips help you rekindle the love that once was the centerpiece of your relationship. Remember, it doesn’t take much to express your love, and while priorities do change with age, expressing love and being loved will always be the epitome of happiness that every individual craves to stay alive!

For cooking and recipe ideas on Valentine’s Day, check out these fun Valentine Day Recipes, right here on FFC!

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